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July 2010
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Some reasons why I thought the new Sherlock show...
Sherlock Holmes is an insufferable arse. Like a real dick, who’d you’d say, under your breath, and when’s he’s not looking, ‘wow, what a massive twat’, if you met him in real life. I get that it’s his character (well, it’s Matt Smith’s Doctor Who character, but never mind) but he’s an atrociously arrogant prat to the point of parody and...
June 2010
3 posts
Some recent words and paragraphs
Wired - iPhone 4 melted, blended and shot with a sniper rifle
The sub-culture of senseless destruction is one of the most bizarre facets of our gadget lust. Turns out, we’re just as enthralled by watching an iPhone perform feats of technical brilliance, as we are in seeing it turned into goopy, half-melted sludge. Humans are weird.
Eurogamer - Espgaluda II (iPhone) review
Espgaluda II comes...
The noise of E3
It’s become rather hip to pick on the gaming press, to point out ever pratfall and giggle at every typo. Nothing should be excused, but I generally cut gaming journalism a lot of slack, especially as its my job. Gaming journo, that is, not professional slack cutter.
But when E3 rolls around, it becomes an annual wake up call that the online games press is broken, that it’s a loud,...
6 tags
April 2010
2 posts
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iPhone Recommendation: Sword & Poker
The iPhone, with its ridiculous 50,000 games, labyrinthine app store and tipsy turvy economy, is filled to the gills with hidden gems and sleeper hits. I won’t bother blathering on about the game’s you’ve heard everyone evangelise in every Top 10 list under the sun, but hopefully I can point you in the direction of some games not everyone’s yapping about. Like Sword &...
March 2010
16 posts
74 - I work from home now
I work from home now. That’s a little odd - I’m basically the News Editor for Pocket Gamer which means I write news about DS, PSP, iPhone and mobile phones while sitting in my house and playing Yakuza 3. It means I can do stuff like watch The Pacific, update my Twitter, eat some skips and go to the toilet without inputting a code. But it’s not without its setbacks. There’s...
73 - Words with Friends
Words with Friends is my new favourite iPhone app. Essentially Scrabble by Email, you partner up with a buddy and trade off words at your own pace. You leave your word, submit it to the server and then shut the app. A little while later, a push notification appears letting you know that your friend has played their move, and its your turn. There’s no rush or annoyance that the other ...
72 - Thank you to...
I just want to extend a thank you to three wonderful people who helped out with a recent article. As all writers know, most features need some developer comment and expert quotes to help give experienced perspective, validate or contradict the author’s preconceptions and give the piece an air of authority. Now, I don’t expect everyone to write back to me. They’re busy...
71 - Sales
For some peculiar reason, I’ve recently become obsessed with video game sales numbers. I keep fretting, long in to the night, that some Xbox Indies game isn’t selling very well and I hate myself for not ponying up the 200 odd points. I keep thinking about the number of copies an iPhone game has sold or worry about the fact that I haven’t bought anything on Xbox Live Arcade or...
70 - I wanna move you, around
The Playstation Move has evolved from reactionary E3 tech demo to fully fledged upcoming product, complete with games, a logo and *shudder* lifestyle photos. To call the Move a Wii Remote knock-off would be the greatest understatement since I called Hitler “a bit of a jerk”. In fact, the side-by-side image of the Wandy Bit and the Analogue Sticky Bit is so eerily reminiscent of the...
69 - Observations of LOST 0607: Dr Linus
“Napoleon faced his greatest test, because exile wasn’t the worst of his fate - what was truly devastating to him was the loss of his power. Without any power it was meaningless. He might just as well have been dead.” For a show with only ten or so episodes left, Lost sure knows how to pack as much content in as possible. In this tightly packed and swift paced episode, even a...
68 - Blurry Vision
Bizarre Creations’ (Project Gotham, Geometry Wars, The Club) latest racer, Blur, now has a public beta on Xbox Live. Its very positive to see a game like Blur receive a public beta. It’s a tenant of game development usually reserved for shooters, strategy games and MMOs; games that require scrupulous changes to balancing, map design and the like. Not often necessary for a Mario Kart...
67 - Inglorious Saboteur
More adventures of LoveFilm, where I get to try out poorly made, unfavourably reviewed and generally unliked games in the name of science. The Saboteur is one of those frustrating games. It’s an enjoyable experience, no doubt, and it certainly has some really interesting concepts and neat ideas, but the flaws are in the execution. It just feels slightly off, like the controls and feedback...
65 - Planned maintenance on the Northern Line
How the hell did they manage to make the London underground. How did they weave a tangled spaghetti network of train stations underneath an actual city without it all falling in on itself. Sure there are delays and maintenance almost every weekend and it can get pretty confusing and the trains kick up smoke that makes your snot turn black (yuk), but it’s a pretty damn amazing feat of...
64 - Readability
The internet doesn’t lend itself particularly well to reading great swathes of text. First up - the fact that the words are presented on a giant glowing lamp doesn’t help matters. Its just not the most comfortable feeling to stare at a big white void for 40 minutes. For your retinas, it’s like standing on the surface of the sun.
And then there’s the lack of columns. A well...
63 - Films I've watched: Withnail and I
Withnail and I is, apparently, a quintessential piece of British comedy. Released in 1986, this Bruce Robinson directed black comedy has become a huge cult hit. Withinail (Richard E. Grant) and I (the unnamed protagonist, played by Paul McGann) are unsuccessful actors in 1969 Camden. Bored of London and not getting any new jobs, they go off to the English countryside for a holiday - except the...
62 - Adverts that steal from creative people
Any advert you watch on television with a hint of creativity or a slight trace of imagination, has probably been done before on YouTube. Some pleb who works for an advertising company called “Zebo” or “Swish” or “Arseholes Anonymous” was probably faffing about online one day and came across some unique video on the internet’s most popular video site. Maybe...
61 - Observations: LOST 0606: Sundown
This weeks episode, Sundown, focussed on back-from-the-dead Sayid and his confrontations with Dogen and the Smoke Monster. Both Sayid’s flashsideways and on island antics are yet another episode of the “is Sayid good or evil?” show. Once an Iraqi torturer, Sayid is constantly fighting with the evil deeds of his past, the new life he tries to hold and the skeletons in his closet. ...
60 - ...and found
It’s Lost again tomorrow! Hoorah! Lost is my favourite currently airing TV show - then again, that isn’t saying too much since it’s the only TV show I actually watch. Throughout Lost’s life, we’ve been treated to a number of gimmicks that let us get off the island and see the characters in a more domestic, urban setting. We had the flashbacks, the flashforwards, a...
59 - Public Service Announcement
The latest Xbox Live “Deal of the Week” (more like Deal of the Weak, am I right! I’ll be here all week!) discounts the Xbox Avatar Gears of War COG Armour to a incredible 240 points, and the Helmet to an unbelievable 80 points!
If you find joy and solace in spending real money on superficial junk for a fake man who lives in your TV, please head straight to your Xbox 360 and...
February 2010
28 posts
58 - Games about games
My review of Half Minute Hero is now up at Ready-Up. It is, according to me, a “self referential, fourth wall shattering, utterly meta parody”. It’s deeply satirical, wickedly funny and slots nicely into one of my favourite genres - games about games. Basically, it distils everything that I hate about role playing games - the meandering pace of it all, the deadly boring grinding...
57 - I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take it...
I have to imagine, having not been born in 1976, that Network would have seemed entirely preposterous and absurd when first released. Howard Beale is a mild mannered news reader turned howling, preaching loon by his flagging ratings and termination. His absolute blind rage and anti-establishment yelling garners him instant press, board-meeting grumbles and even his own spin-off TV show. Today...
56 - Cool Stuff: Garth Marenghi's Dark Place
Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace is like one of those little bits of juicy TV history, a true cult classic that undoubtedly picked up no more than 20 viewers on first airing, but with an obsessive fan following and Channel 4 chucking all their old shit up on YouTube, it still manages to live on. It’s a mockumentary, a double-layered comedy that’s as blazingly smart as it is...
55 - Pitching a feature
This morning, I got another feature commissioned. An editor had some extra cash in his freelance budget for February and wanted to pass that sweet sweet moolah onto me, in exchange for video game-themed words. So I had to pitch. Pitching a feature is a horrible, horrible experience. I’m utterly amazed that the guests on Dragon’s Den can describe their idea without pooing their pants...
54 - My 10 favourite iPhone games (Part 2)
Cogs (59p - iTunes Link) I played this back on PC and was amazed then - a sort of 3D tile-sliding puzzler that is simply astounding - almost entirely because of the shit that the creators come up with. There’s one where you solve the puzzle, only to turn the entire game board over and realise your moves mucked up the tiles on the back. Its made the transition to iPhone completely unharmed....